Misunderstanding: Most times, people tend to misinterpret one another thereby causing severe problems. This confusion might get so grave to the extent of dangerous bodily and physical domestic violence.
Excessive Addictions: Excessive addictions such as getting drunk, getting high and losing one’s temporal sanity at a particular point in time can actually lead to unintentional and involuntary domestic violence. Frankly speaking, this is one of the cruellest and brutal forms of domestic violence.
Extended Family Interference: In Africa, most times extended families can be a pain in the ass. Most especially when the woman is yet to conceive. The general perception in African society is that once there are fertility issues then the woman is at fault. This minute and puny mindset have given rise to the rampant issue of domestic violence. Little do they know that men are also a major cause-in-fact over 60% of men have issues with their sperms and are the cause of their infertility.
Upbringing and background: Some kids grow up to see their mum beating their dad or their dad beating up their mothers. This has created a huge dent in their mental faculty, making them feel it’s the correct thing to do. Primarily, we need to watch what we do or say around kids. They pick up things quickly.
Insecurities on both sides: This ultimately has to do with lack of trust. In any relationship either marriage or any other form, trust is highly essential and fundamental. Insecurities, uncertainties, ambiguities can lead to domestic violence.
We’ve touched a bit on the basic causes of domestic violence and now the major question that people ask is “What is the solution to Domestic Violence?” Is there really a lasting solution to Domestic violence? The answer is No. There are only steps to take so as to prevent further damages. “Do the victims have to stay in an abusive relationship?” No, they don’t! There are 5 basic steps to start rehabilitation and the curbing of domestic violence.
Prayers: This is the first step to solving or curing an abusive husband or wife. It works but on the negative side it actually takes time and to be honest your life is more important. Do not take “lightyears” to resort to prayers. Start immediately and instantly.
Family Interference: This is based on preference actually. The truth is some families might put more fuel into the fire but that doesn’t overrule this option. Families are recognised for a reason and one of which is to maintain order. In an abusive relationship, family interference might actually do more good especially when the “adults” are involved. Please let’s not overrule the fact that this can go south at any time. The abusive partner might really get worse after this but it’s worth the shot.
Therapy: This is the most underestimated solution to domestic violence. The good news is “IT WORKS” but only if both parties are ready and have accepted that they can make it work.
Separation: Distance can also cure domestic violence. If the victim stays away from the abusive partner for a long period of time it can actually help a lot. Separation is always a good option when the victim’s life is at stake. It is most times advisable to separate immediately even before the option of family interference and therapy.
Divorce: When all options have been exhausted, divorce should be the final resort. I don’t actually pay mind to those social media feminists that hammer on immediate divorce. Divorce should never ever be the first option. Always try to sacrifice and make things work. Divorce is good when all options have been exhausted.
Finally, study your partner well before and during a relationship. Notice slight, trivial, insignificant actions and always pay attention to details. Treat your domestic workers like your own family. Do not let your ego get in the way of peace. Always be ready to sacrifice for one another. Let’s make the society a better place and together we can end the deadly societal menace called “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”.