BLOG KV GISTS

GENDER VS THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION

Dear Kv readers, it’s been a while. Today’s `issue/topic is going to be quite comprehensive, extensive and rare.Well, I usually don’t talk about such topics or have such discussions on a regular day but to be candid, I think it’s high time we spoke about pressing issues that are really important. The main question is what brought about this subject matter? Why do celebrity marriages/ most marriages in this generation crash so easily?

We are in a different era completely and things have changed, People have evolved. Trust me when I tell you that the way individuals reason in this generation is quite flexible and let me use the term “free”. We have learned to use our free will and willpower more often than normal, the normal now seems quite wrong and different from the previous generation. The western world has brought about new ideologies and thinking. This topic is very interminable and cannot be completed in just one single article.

First of all, what is Equality? Is equality really attainable or achievable? Do we really understand the institution called Marriage? These are the essential questions we need to ask ourselves. I’m quite sure we have these answers in our mind. Equality is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities while equity is the quality of being fair and impartial. This brings us to our next question, is equality really achievable? I see most young women calling themselves feminists without actually understanding the word feminism or what a feminist really do, they say equality is feasible. I strongly disagree. Nevertheless, I’m a vigorous advocate for female equity. Equality in the world generally is very impossible. I always ask one question. Is World peace ever achievable? No. There will continue to be an imbalance in the world, there will be wars, there will be so many contradictory vibes. People’s ideology and perspicacity about life itself differ and to be honest it is highly understandable. Equality in any sphere of life is impossible. No matter how hard we fight it, the fact still remains that Equality is an impossible task. There will always be world powers, weaker countries, the developed and the developing, the positive and the negative. So many factors have to be placed into consideration when speaking or arguing about equality. Then the general question goes thus, why is the male gender more dominant than the female gender? Why is the female gender regarded as being the weaker gender? I strongly disagree the female gender is weak! In fact, they take a bigger role and responsibility in the society. The whole gender thing is getting bigger and bigger by the day. Equality among gender can only be achieved when the quest for power is evenly distributed when the notion of greed is being eliminated from the hearts of human beings when individuals are contented with what they have and all. Let’s erase the notion of equality and stop mixing it up with equity. What most women really want and fight for is equity. For instance, my friend and co-blogger, “www.sunlightdreamer.com” stated a very vital fact.[the_ad id=”12901″]

She said, “Some women are breadwinners these days because men are scum, some have their whole family to provide for and you go and pay her less just because she’s female? It’s not fair, is it? Should I be paid less because I’m a woman or because I don’t have many responsibilities? Was my school fees less because I’m a woman? Did I take a different exam because I’m a woman?” All the core and valid questions and points she raised were quite accurate and very true. Based on facts and reality but you see all points were established in view of Gender Equity and not equality. A little throwback to what equity is, it is the quality of being fair and impartial. All the points show unfairness and lack of balance. Like I said earlier I’m a strong advocate for gender equity. Most people end up mixing both and fight the wrong battle. All that being said, that brings me back to the marriage institution. Do you think the marriage institution is compulsory or a choice?

Why do celebrity marriages and most marriages in this era wreck so easily? Just before you argue and all, some work out fine.

The African setting has set an iron rule that has currently been completely disintegrated. The Iron rule is the woman must always submit to her husband as the head of the family. No matter what happens, you always have to submit! Now the time has come for the female gender to fight back at this rule! Lol. Equal footing! Cook what? Before I continue, the marriage institution should not be compulsory but rather should be a choice. If you can deal with the rules then fine. Focus on what you feel is more significant and valuable. It is going to be extremely challenging, it’s going to be severe, there will be serious waves that actually have the tendency to blow away your marriages but are you fit to be married? I noticed most individuals marry because of numerous factors which include; constant family pressure, peer pressure, Age constraints, religious purposes etc. Not forgetting the role and effects of social media have to play in this aspect as well {Especially BellaNaija weddings}. The female gender has simple had it with the marriage institution. Just like my colleague, feminist and co-blogger “www.aminatawastories.com” said ” I believe in the institution of marriage but, I  do not believe it is a master and servant relationship. Where one person does all the giving and another does the taking”. Marriage has its rules and regulations. For a female to survive she has to make lots of sacrifices. Obviously, the man also has to make sacrifices because it is a mutual thing but in the African community, the woman has to make more sacrifices. I personally did a research on couples that lasted for more than 20years. How did they survive? Why is it not working for this generation? I found out from my study that the women had a huge role to play in such situations. All 25 families with the same or similar stories to tell. Most women say, ” Patience is key”. My mum, for instance, had to quit her job of 70k in the 90’s simply because she wanted her marriage to work. Trust me when I say Dad wasn’t earning up to that then. These women understood these rules and they actually adapted to these rules. It worked.  Now let me get this clear, things have changed, our thoughts, our imagination and our viewpoints on this subject matter such as this have changed and evolved. Most marriages don’t work because of the change in this ideology and advanced line of thoughts. The female gender is revolting against the complete domination of the male gender in the marriage institution! Is that feasible? A young lady asked a question the other day and was like, ” Is it a must to cook for your husband?” Times have changed. The marriage institution cannot bend to equity! There is a rule if you are comfortable with the rule and you have chosen your partner well. You will enjoy every bit of sacrifice you make.

NOTE:

  1. Do not hasten into any marriage due to peer pressure
  2. Do not choose your partner because of affluence or wealth! You will lose.
  3. Marriage is not by force! Focus on your pathway if you can’t stick to the rules.

 

READ  KV GISTS : “HITS ARE BEING MADE UP AND DOWN IN MAVIN, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAND UP AND GET BETTER” - DI'JA

Finally, Dear Females do not let a man stop you from fulfilling your dream! If marriage is going to deter you stay clear! Think, study, Pray and be patient before going into the institution. DIVORCE SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION!

Dear readers, what do you feel? 

Related Post

Comments

comments

You Might Also Like

1 Comment

  • Reply
    Solomon Kupolati
    November 15, 2017 at 11:58 am

    Let’s simplify marriage and ignore gender equity and equality because neither truly conform with reality. “Reality” is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perception. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. What we take to be true is our mirage reality. Therefore, most long lasting marriages are figuratively between a “blind” wife and a “deaf” husband.
    This perspective on marital objectivity, although perhaps over-cynical, underlines the need for you not to covet deliberate bias and to make every effort to minimize accidental marriages. Best wishes.

  • Leave a Reply

    Powered by Live Score & Live Score App